I think it's the most carefree christmas holidays...it's nice to be back at home just for a few days, everyone spolis you because you will be soon leaving again!I sleep until noon, watch TV, eat without my mom telling me that it's enough-I HATE IT when she does that-and I drink coffee with my friends, at least with those who are not attached to the hip to their boyfriends....
Called N. today to see how she spent christmas with her bf and I immediately could tell by her voice that something was going on...Sshe finally admitted that once again she felt like she was following him around like a dog and that he didn't seem to care much, that he is always flirtatious with other beautiful girls, that they see each other only on weekend...Same complaints I have been hearing for the past few months, nothing new about it.And ofcourse she wanted to go out for coffee with M. and me, because that's what you do when there is something wrong with ur bf and he hasn't called you yet on a Sunday morining to say good morning, because you had a misunderstanding last night.And of course while we were onthe phone he called.And ofcourse N isn't coming finally for coffee because she's going out with her bf and..."you undertand how it is".
Yes, I do understnad how it is. Maybe a few months back I would be angry or sad but now I just don't care. I guess it's normal to give priority to your bfr when things arent's working out.But seeing situations like this I can fortunately say "been there, done that", I'm pretty sure that in the future I won't be facing any more problerms like that because now I know better what suits me and what doesn't. Even though it sucks big time being alone in christmas time, it would be even worst to be with someone and cry/complain about him a lot.
Whenever I had a bf on christmas it was always great, except with the french guy, that was my worst christmas holiday ever. He had already started cheating on me and I could tell something was wrong although he wouldn't say anything and made me believe that I was the cazy one. Then again, it's easy to pull off something like that when your gf is madly in love with you and 3.000km away. So comparing that period, two years ago,with this year I can proudly say that it's better being alone than crying over a jerk.At least now I cry for my self, for the male prostitute I saw last night begging for some change at the metro station, for the situation in Greece, for my family that I will miss very much when I m back to strasbourg. But not for someone who makes me miserable, even if he's doing so by accident.
I don't enjoy exactly when I see couples fight or having problems and I find it difficult to say to a friend of mine to dump her bf, I always try to propose other solutions or find some nice remarks to make about him. But in my present situation, I just need to see that not every one who's in a relationship is necessarily happy and that singles also have fun and can be much more accomplished and happier than non-singles.
When I hear about couples in christmas, i always imagine them giggling throughout the holidays, dining at restaurants, snuggling, having sex all the time and generally being...happy-i dont know how many times I have used this word inthe same paragraph but I just can't describe the feeling in any other way. But I start realising that it's the wrong perception. I just think singles are miserable because I want to believe it. I'm a mazochist. I have to start thinking in a more mature way if I ever want to be feeling good about myself and my marital status:P
I hope N.works out her relationship problems, but I doubt it. It's her first bf, first kiss, first lover...first everyhting, so I guess someone can be very scared of loosing something tha took her 23 years to find...Thus ending putting up with crap that normally she wouldn't put up with-I'm so glad that this period of my life is finished!
I like the last days of the year. For thw last two years I think of the morning of the 1st January and I always picture it a bit like Bridget Jones. After the end of a shitty year but with a lot of hope that this time I will meet THE ONE and I will become someone new, better...and ofcourse a lot of new year resolutions. Last year I dont remember if I made any, but this year I have to and I have to stick with them, just to break the routine of forgettin about them after a few days (maximum):P:P:P
Resolution no 1: cut EVERY KIND of contact with my ex bf's (except N).
My first bf has proven to be a real jerk in the past few months and he really doesn't know what he's looking for...I spent 3 months last summer (after we reunited almost 5 years after we broke up) trying to figure him out, but I finally gave up , he is way too complicated for me, that's why I call him a jerk, even though I dont think he is...but he gave me a very hard time from may to august.
My second bf recently started dating a friend of a friend, with whom I had gone out several times during the past 2 years and who I introduced to him, but just by accident,because we happened to be at the same concert. My problem is that because she's a friends of N. I may have to be at some point inmy life at the same party or bar with them and I loathe it. I don't want to know about the ex's or the current girlfriends of my ex bf's. I never want to see them in front of me as a couple. Ignorance is bliss.And what is really stupid is that he didn't tell me about it(my ex)but he let his gf do the dirty job. What a coward!Just for the record, we had a great time when we were together, until we started not to, or at least I started getting bored and then I broke up with him 3 years ago and then we had a couple of reunions during the last 2 years that I hava always ended because it just wasn't working. So I have been talking about someone I "dumbed" 3 times, someone I could be dating if I wanted to , someone with whom the sex wasn't that great. But he was a great guy, sweet, tender, attentive, treated me inthe best way.Unfortunately , I cheated on him and I have regretted it a lot. But bottom line is I have rejected him many time s inthe past 3 years, I never thought a lot about him after we broke up the first time and now just because he's dating a girl I know I have been havng dreams about them, I fear no to bump on them on the street and the fact they are dating ruins some of my christmas holidays. I AM STUPID.And that's why one should cut every contact with ex's, so that when they have a new gf one will never know about that and more important, one wouldn't be the person who introduced them to each other,as I am right now.
The 3rd ex is the french guy I was so in love with, we don' t talk anymore and I'm fine about that, I don't need to remember more often than I already dowhat a wrong, catastrophic choice he was.
The last ex is N. but I don't think I m ready to stop talking to him, he hasn't pissed me off at all and the situation is different, we broke up because of the distance, but I believe we could have had a nice time if we lived inthe same country:P
At some point I know I 'll have to stop. Just not yet.
Called N. today to see how she spent christmas with her bf and I immediately could tell by her voice that something was going on...Sshe finally admitted that once again she felt like she was following him around like a dog and that he didn't seem to care much, that he is always flirtatious with other beautiful girls, that they see each other only on weekend...Same complaints I have been hearing for the past few months, nothing new about it.And ofcourse she wanted to go out for coffee with M. and me, because that's what you do when there is something wrong with ur bf and he hasn't called you yet on a Sunday morining to say good morning, because you had a misunderstanding last night.And of course while we were onthe phone he called.And ofcourse N isn't coming finally for coffee because she's going out with her bf and..."you undertand how it is".
Yes, I do understnad how it is. Maybe a few months back I would be angry or sad but now I just don't care. I guess it's normal to give priority to your bfr when things arent's working out.But seeing situations like this I can fortunately say "been there, done that", I'm pretty sure that in the future I won't be facing any more problerms like that because now I know better what suits me and what doesn't. Even though it sucks big time being alone in christmas time, it would be even worst to be with someone and cry/complain about him a lot.
Whenever I had a bf on christmas it was always great, except with the french guy, that was my worst christmas holiday ever. He had already started cheating on me and I could tell something was wrong although he wouldn't say anything and made me believe that I was the cazy one. Then again, it's easy to pull off something like that when your gf is madly in love with you and 3.000km away. So comparing that period, two years ago,with this year I can proudly say that it's better being alone than crying over a jerk.At least now I cry for my self, for the male prostitute I saw last night begging for some change at the metro station, for the situation in Greece, for my family that I will miss very much when I m back to strasbourg. But not for someone who makes me miserable, even if he's doing so by accident.
I don't enjoy exactly when I see couples fight or having problems and I find it difficult to say to a friend of mine to dump her bf, I always try to propose other solutions or find some nice remarks to make about him. But in my present situation, I just need to see that not every one who's in a relationship is necessarily happy and that singles also have fun and can be much more accomplished and happier than non-singles.
When I hear about couples in christmas, i always imagine them giggling throughout the holidays, dining at restaurants, snuggling, having sex all the time and generally being...happy-i dont know how many times I have used this word inthe same paragraph but I just can't describe the feeling in any other way. But I start realising that it's the wrong perception. I just think singles are miserable because I want to believe it. I'm a mazochist. I have to start thinking in a more mature way if I ever want to be feeling good about myself and my marital status:P
I hope N.works out her relationship problems, but I doubt it. It's her first bf, first kiss, first lover...first everyhting, so I guess someone can be very scared of loosing something tha took her 23 years to find...Thus ending putting up with crap that normally she wouldn't put up with-I'm so glad that this period of my life is finished!
I like the last days of the year. For thw last two years I think of the morning of the 1st January and I always picture it a bit like Bridget Jones. After the end of a shitty year but with a lot of hope that this time I will meet THE ONE and I will become someone new, better...and ofcourse a lot of new year resolutions. Last year I dont remember if I made any, but this year I have to and I have to stick with them, just to break the routine of forgettin about them after a few days (maximum):P:P:P
Resolution no 1: cut EVERY KIND of contact with my ex bf's (except N).
My first bf has proven to be a real jerk in the past few months and he really doesn't know what he's looking for...I spent 3 months last summer (after we reunited almost 5 years after we broke up) trying to figure him out, but I finally gave up , he is way too complicated for me, that's why I call him a jerk, even though I dont think he is...but he gave me a very hard time from may to august.
My second bf recently started dating a friend of a friend, with whom I had gone out several times during the past 2 years and who I introduced to him, but just by accident,because we happened to be at the same concert. My problem is that because she's a friends of N. I may have to be at some point inmy life at the same party or bar with them and I loathe it. I don't want to know about the ex's or the current girlfriends of my ex bf's. I never want to see them in front of me as a couple. Ignorance is bliss.And what is really stupid is that he didn't tell me about it(my ex)but he let his gf do the dirty job. What a coward!Just for the record, we had a great time when we were together, until we started not to, or at least I started getting bored and then I broke up with him 3 years ago and then we had a couple of reunions during the last 2 years that I hava always ended because it just wasn't working. So I have been talking about someone I "dumbed" 3 times, someone I could be dating if I wanted to , someone with whom the sex wasn't that great. But he was a great guy, sweet, tender, attentive, treated me inthe best way.Unfortunately , I cheated on him and I have regretted it a lot. But bottom line is I have rejected him many time s inthe past 3 years, I never thought a lot about him after we broke up the first time and now just because he's dating a girl I know I have been havng dreams about them, I fear no to bump on them on the street and the fact they are dating ruins some of my christmas holidays. I AM STUPID.And that's why one should cut every contact with ex's, so that when they have a new gf one will never know about that and more important, one wouldn't be the person who introduced them to each other,as I am right now.
The 3rd ex is the french guy I was so in love with, we don' t talk anymore and I'm fine about that, I don't need to remember more often than I already dowhat a wrong, catastrophic choice he was.
The last ex is N. but I don't think I m ready to stop talking to him, he hasn't pissed me off at all and the situation is different, we broke up because of the distance, but I believe we could have had a nice time if we lived inthe same country:P
At some point I know I 'll have to stop. Just not yet.
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